Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Strange but true
known to few
Hidden in you
In the silence it brew
Initially transient than dew
With passion it grew
Its the art we drew
Its the treasure we lose when caught in blue
Its nothing but the dream which guides us through

Friday, December 24, 2010

The unnamed child of imagination wakes up silently when I am fast asleep
It looks pleadingly at me with its innocent eyes but soon arrests me with its commanding glare
It cajoles me with its lovely innocent smile but soon engulfs me with its terrible laughter
It whispers mesmerizingly into my ears but soon start screaming into my ears
It stealthily moves across my realms of clarity but it soon zooms and blocks my view
It holds my hand tenderly but soon tightens it to a iron grip hurting me
It takes me to a lovely moonlit garden but soon push me into a dense dark forest
It graciously extends its hand to lift me up but soon withdraws it just to see me fall down
It welcomes me to the perfect world but soon chase me out reminding how imperfect I am
Trembling with fear, Holding back the tear There I wake up half dead
Just to hear someone say "Relax!Its just a Dream"

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Is there any other species in this world as good as human beings in recollecting the best times in their life as worst memories?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I know I am gonna laugh at it someday
But it does not stop my tears today
I know I am not gonna be killed by it
But that is what makes it more scary
I know its not the end of the world
But what the hell does it mean to me
I know there is a reason behind everything
But that is not a reason to feel better
I know time can heal a lot of things
But will I survive till things heal
I know it was just a foolish dream
But isnt it a glimpse of the reality
I know I am with the best of people
But it does not stop the worst in me to kill me
What fun this life has in playing with me?
When I accept my futility
Why there isnt an easy route to almighty?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Realization is not that difficult
Acceptance is what the whole thing is about...
Being with someone who makes you feel bad is not the most terrible thing
Its being with someone who makes you confused what you actually feel about them

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I wont say you are unfair to me rather
I would say our definition of fairness differ
I am not gonna feel bad again as you are gonna see me applying only your definition of fairness to you

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Trying a new style of writing...
Presenting the poem in a condensed version followed by the full version. Its more like executive summary of a paper or the plot of a novel just to save the readers' time.Dont know whether such a thing exists in poetry earlier. If so, kindly let me know.

Abridged Version:
Have you ever felt at times this life is binary?
All that matters is that only thing and
All the other becomes just nothing…

Original Version:
You see me in blue
You care enough to sit by me and ask,
“What is it?”
I feel greatfull enough to smile at you and say,
“Nothing ”
I see you wondering how easily I can lie but
You don’t see me wishing you could understand what I say
Dear friend,
I dont say nothing is bothering me
I say nothing is what I am entitled to
Even If you could interpret what I say you wont beleive it
You would point to everything you see me with
But little you know that those everything matters to nothing
Oh yeah I do have something and that is nothing and
Nothing is more painful than existing with nothing...

Friday, November 5, 2010

Frontiers to conquer
Territories to explore
Tacit promises
Promising premises
Caring faces
Interesting phases
Countless preparations
Rational defenses
Sensible acceptances
Nothing stops the pain
Nothing stops the pain of being torn apart from inside
When the truth and reality stares at you brutally
When the smartness in you understands where it will eventually lead to
When the voice inside you recites what you are gonna miss forever
When the mind keeps reminding how things could have been so different
Nothing stops from wishing the truth not to be so ruthless
Nothing stops from wishing the reality not to be so harsh
Nothing stops from wishing the temptation not to run to the cure-for-all angel...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Lemon & Lemonade

She is not afraid of lemon thrusted upon her
Its just that she is tired of making lemonade all her life...

Monday, October 25, 2010

How terrible it is to wake up and suddenly realize the whole day has passed when you were happily sleeping
How heart wrenching it is to see those loads of exciting and necessary stuff left incomplete since you were sleeping
How painful it is to realize you have missed your deadlines and not honoured your commitments just because you were shamelessly sleeping
How pathetic it is to realize you were not even aware of what was happening around you
How different am I from the drunkard rolling in the road
Each of us has our own reasons to justify our action
Though the reasons are different the underlying truth is the same
Both of us are escaping from the reality and finding solace in some chemical composition
I am sure the fiery tiger and majestic lion there in the nature’s abode doesn’t depend on painkiller
So be I…
I chose to be a majestic lion rather than a shameless drunkard
Let me not try to escape the reality
Come what may I will go through it rather than getting lost in the sleep
Anyhow the pain is not gonna kill me; it just gonna hurt me
Nothing can beat the pain of regret over lost time
Let me not go through that pain too
Let me change these trying days to interesting days
Let my days be not controlled by crazy chemicals but by mighty thoughts and worthy actions

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Lucky are those whose dream doesn’t turn to nightmare when reality hit them
Smart are those who have sense to wake up from the nightmare once it’s no more a sweet dream
Brave are those who dare to dream again even though they know the pain of nightmare

Friday, October 22, 2010

Its ok to be cool
Until others make you a fool
Its ok to become such a fool
Until those others think its cool to become such a fool for you
Never forget the rule of reciprocity
As its the greatest injustice you can do for those who truly value you!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The best part in knowing you is I am discovering a part of myself
The worst part in missing you is I am missing a part of myself

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Believe me
Right now there is a Pandora and the genie sitting with you
Don’t look around just look inside your heart
Yeah there in your heart sits Pandora waiting eagerly to open your box of miseries
And there in the same heart sits Genie wishing you could find him and give him a chance to change things for you
Just when things are not right
Just when you have ample time in hand
The silly Pandora comes running to you eager to unlock your box of miseries
You like a fool let the silly Pandora open the box and get lost in the dark pain
Poor Genie waits for you wishing you would pick up the lamp and call it just to make things better
Why should you choose darkness when the magic lamp waits crying for your attention?
Just stop for a moment before falling a prey to Pandora
Just ask this simple question
“So what? What next?”
Believe me you have scratched the magic lamp
Believe me genie is gonna come and throw new light on things
I assure you things are gonna be better...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

He & She

He envies her as she lose nothing
She envies him as he had something to lose
He wish she knew the pain of losing
She wish he knew the pain of hoping
He wish he could be strong, tight lipped like her
She wish she could open up at times like him and just break down
At times he wonders what’s running in her head
All the times she wonders what’s running in his head
There sits he and she teasing each other and happily laughing
None ready to acknowledge their silent wishes but
Both respect and pray for the other’s wishes
There sits he and she silently thanking each other for their friendship…

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Believe all is fine
Never whine
As life is a wine
No matter how hard people trample on you and leave you crushed in the dark
No matter how horrible, hopeless and pathetic things are right now
Sooner or later you are going to turn into something fine
Longer your suffering in the darkness better gonna be your pricing and positioning
Never think about what you lose and sigh
Ever remember to keep your spirits high
So come what may
Let me hear you say

Monday, October 11, 2010

Smile anyhow
Crack joke somehow
Forgive now; Though
Forget not the show
Hesitate not to give and care
As long as its not for name and fame
Hesitate not to point out and disapprove
As long as its not out of ego
But out of love and amigo
Its ok to imagine things are right
As long as it doesn’t blind your sight

Friday, October 8, 2010

It doesn’t hurt a lot

When there is enough in ones heart

Only few things hurt

It’s the long drive I ride in my white bucephalus

It’s the peaceful library with familiar faces

It’s the steaming tea we have together

It’s only the friendly faces and happy banter

Let me stop here as I can’t go further

What the hell am I doing here?

Trying to stay cheerful listening to some nonsense

When I must be in the class listening to the project sense

Why is it like that I always lose everything I like?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

In Retrospect

Its Friday!!! I was busy preparing snacks for little Vinni who will be returning tired from his dance class. My man was busing chopping vegetables for dinner. Once Anu, mother of Vinni returns from the office she will take care of Vinni and the chopped vegetables. I and my man will be all set for a walk to the temple down the lane or for a happy chat with acquaintances in the park round the corner.

Just like how many things have changed all these years there are many things which remain unchanged too. Inclusion of Iniyan,our son, daughter in law and a grand child are the changes in our life. Our personal space is the unchanged one. No matter it has been forty years past our marriage or the varied roles donned by us we always make it a point to have our own personal space and never to underperform our most important role. Life partners! I would like to call soulmates as the word partner kindle my MBA brain and the M&A course in our b school. Friday evenings are meant for us . Us in the truest sense. Only for him and me. Saturday evening are for Vinni’s dad and mom when we enjoy our second childhood with Vinni. Sunday nights are for all of us to explore new places and criticize movies, technology,policies, lack of yellow color pencil boxes in landmark, the mystery of Vinni’s missing erasers, the puzzle of why Iniyan’s white shirt always get stained and what not.

So now you should feel the excitement in the first sentence. It’s Friday!! Today’s plan is to go to the concert to listen to the lovely performance by a well acclaimed artist. So after a blissful experience at Sabha we went to our favorite café coffee day overlooking besant nagar beach. After discussing about music, politics, Vinni’s latest mischief, things to buy for Anu, our son’s naughtiness in the same café 20 yrs ago suddenly something grabbed our attention. There we could see fastidious ladies of all ages coming out of the mahalakshmi temple with a bigger than usual bindhi, lamps and solemn expression. “Hey Ladies are looking gorgeous today. what’s the occasion?” he asked playfully winking at me. I rackled my brain and then realized it must be a sumangali puja done in Friday. I replied casually “Oh it must be that sumangali puja now these temples run so successfully. Can you believe how much they charge? 1000 bucks for each. Great business model monetizing these ladies sentiments. I am sure none of the organizer families’ ladies are over here. Sentimental idiots! ”. “Ah my dear stop your intellectual talk. Dint you whisper something extremely sentimental yesterday night. “. I stopped sipping my green apple soda in horror and stared at him. Aren’t people supposed to lose memory when they grow old? Are it just works the opposite way in guys? I retorted, “You are really growing old dear. Stop imagining”. He laughed,” No no. I remember it quite distinctly. You were quite absorbed in Winnie,the pooh with our little Vinni. But suddenly you stopped reading, looked at me and whispered in my ears assuming I am asleep. Hmmm.. What is it?” He was busy thinking. I tried to stay cool and replied non chalantly, “Ah! I must have told something horrible about you. “He replied equally, “Ah! I know you would be more than happy to do such a thing when I am wide awake right in my face. Oh yeah! You told if you were to live for 100 days I will live for 99 days! “I was dumbstruck. All I could do was to tell, “Lol. Keep dreaming old man. But it sounds cool. I and my boyfriends would empty your bank balance in 99th day and throw you in pavement in 100th day. Better be careful darling” He replied imitating my tone and playfully dancing for an imaginary tone, “Don’t worry sweetheart! Don’t you remember my girlfriends are filthy rich. 100th day I will be in Hawaii dancing with them without you nagging me. Cool” Both of us burst out laughing knowing none of us mean what we say. We could see many heads turning at us with surprised stares.

Little did they know only the trust and the love which hasn’t replaced our friendship could make this. I am not sure whether this conversation would have ended in a similar note had it been between those lost in their own world couple over there. I believe every relationship maturity can be assessed by the friendliness in it. Everything starts with the friendship and ends with it. The foolishness like ego, possessiveness all comes in the middle when we are hell bent in proving to each other our love and forgetting the true essence and joy of love. Why should we call anything that cause suffering as love. Why do people doubt, nag, inflict and undergo suffering all in the name of love. How much joy this mankind has lost by not asking a single question to itself, “How can you love when you can’t trust? “

My philosophical thoughts were suspended for a while as there was a serious threat to my brownie. Yes. He has finished eating his and next target will be mine. So I started attacking my brownie. BTW did I whispered something sentimental yesterday? Yes I did. But not the one he told.

It is “If you were to live for 100 days I want to live for 101 days!”

To be continued…

Note: Being my first attempt in story writing would love to hear your comments.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Best way to hurt someone who understands you well is to expect them to accept all you do
Its not very different from expecting a fish to accept and survive in the land since it understands science
Please do remember it just kills...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Spare me please
I don’t think I deserve it

Its high time I should stop letting you use me
Its high time I should stop liking you for what you are
Its high time I should start hating you for what you are not
Its high time I should come out of this quagmire
I shouldn’t have understood you too well
I shouldn’t have seen you beyond your mask

Let my strength crumble
Let me lose my composure
Let me just shout at you
Let me just stop empathizing with you
Let me just break down and cry
Let me just don’t care of others
Let me just break and cry

Now I understand the glory of weak
Now I understand the need of irrationality
Now I understand the bliss of insensibility
Now I understand how to exist
Wish I could understand how to live
I am sure I will sooner or later...

Monday, September 27, 2010

There she is
Waiting for me
Smiling with her eyes
Carefully watching me
Playfully beckoning me
There she is
Lady in black singing the songs of liberation

No matter how many people I meet
No matter how many people wish me to be with them
No matter how many people I wish to be with
No matter how many good things promise to stay with me
No matter how hard I try
No matter how genuine ones wishes are
I know the truth
She is my true companion, the only friend for life, my destiny

There she is waiting for me
Just like a mom waiting for the arrival of her kid from school
And here I am waiting for you
Just like a kid waiting to run away from the school into your safe arms

Just like a kid to the school I entered this world bawling and crying
Had my own learnings few by choice many by hobson’s choice
Met people here few bitter and many sweeter
But let me tell you this I miss you v badly
And I dont think I should be blamed for this
Where else a child could go to rather than to its mother's safe arms
So Soon I will come back home
With my tales in this school of world
Very soon…

I will tell you the days in which I never thought of you
I will tell you the days in which I despised you
I will tell you the days in which you were the only one I wanted
I will tell you the days in which I thought you were the only solution
Most importantly I will tell you the truth I so skillfully carry
May be it might ease the pain it might be the only cure!

I know no matter how good some might be in hurting me
I know you are always there waiting for me
I know you are always there waiting patiently for me
And let me tell you thats my only strength
Though many a times I just want to come running to you leaving behind things I don’t want to learn
I am afraid whether you would like to see your child back from school before the right time
What if you don’t receive me? Where will I go if you yourself don’t accept me

So I wait here until the class gets over
Waiting for the bell to ring
Waiting for the painful lessons to get over
Waiting for my time
Waiting for you...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Someone is your friend when none can change your feelings for him

Someone is more than your friend when that none includes you too…

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Life is beautiful as long as you remember that few things are only to be appreciated and not to be aspired for!

Life is peaceful as long as you remember that few people are only to be loved and not to be longed for!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Note: Please dont read it when you are in a depressed mood as it doesnt end in a positive note and much thought dint went in it while penning it down...

Wanna know what is this
Wanna know what is this

Something worser than death
Something sharper than pain
Something stronger than guilt

Wanna know what is this
Wanna know what is this

Loneliness replacing solitude
Laughter replacing joy
Madness replacing composure
Helplessness replacing confidence
Tiredness replacing liveliness
Indifference replacing enthusiasm
Fear replacing the adrenaline rush
Deadly silence replacing peace

Wanna know what is this
Wanna know what is this

Hazy days
Teary eyes
Fiery words
Dreary thoughts
Sleepless nights
Timeless days
A zombie life
Yeah nothing but a zombie life

Where did all the rationality go?
Where did all the clarity go?
Where did all the sensibilty go?
Where did all the dreams go?
Where did all the zeal go?
Where did all the hope go?

Fighting the unknown for an unknown
Searching the unknown for an unknown
Chasen by dark shadows
Chosen by cruelty
Hitted by hard truths
Pushed into nothing
Surrounded by volumes of emptiness
Tormented by the ruthless memories
A shapeless hand beckoning to a ceaseless torture
Running madly away from all
No guts to look back
No power to comprehend
No sense to accept
No shoulder to rely
Running madly away from all
Just running away from all...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Every complexity is just like a complex number
Constituted by both real and imaginary part
All we need to remember is
It is 'I' who makes the things complex
It is 'I' which needs to be work upon
Just remove the 'I'
There lies the real part!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Have you ever seen anyone playing dirtier tricks than this life?
Has it ever happened to you before?
Have you ever given a thought about it?
Just when you get a clarity and strength to move on after spending countless sleepless nights and painful introspections
It playfully smiles and starts the whole game again in its own way
But dear life hear it from me
I am not gonna let you fool me
Dear life I know the secret
I know how to put you in your place
Sensibilty is the only guard
Present is the only truth
Action is the only cure
Focus is all we need to escape from the mirages of this life
So dear take it from me
I am not gonna let you fool me
I am not gonna let you fool me

Friday, August 27, 2010

True friend is not the one who makes you forget your pain
He is the one who helps you to go through the pain elegantly
True friend is not the one who assures you there is no problem
He is the one who reminds you there is a problem when you try to ignore it
True friend is not the one who stays by you all the time
He is the one who will be by your side at bad times
True friend is not the one who tells you comforting words
He is the one who dares to tell you the uncomfortable truths
True friend is not the one who assures you of a bright future
He is the one who reminds you of dark future when you are in wrong path
True friend is not the first one to congratulate you on your success
He is the last one to sleep peacefully until you succeed
True friend is not the one who share your dreams
He is the one who wake you up to reality
True friend is not the one who makes you laugh
He is the one who is courageous enough to sit by you when you cry
Forget the one who tells you to forget your problem
Treasure the one who tells "Look you have a problem tell me what it is"
Dont you understand that true friend is not a pain killer giving temporary relief
But a bitter drug saving ones' life?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

There is never such a thing as misunderstanding between people
We either understand too well or never attempt to understand at all

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

There I go
Walking in the rain
Holding the cane
Seeking in vain
A cure for all pain

Tell me now
Who are you?
The dear destiny of my journey
The precious solution to my question
Tell me now
Who are you?

There I go
Thinking of you
Dreaming about you
Every step towards you
Ever wondering about you

Tell me now
Who are you?
The dear destiny of my journey
The precious solution to my question
Tell me now
Who are you?

There I go
Frustrated with this search
Running through the rugged path
Tearing my hair apart
Exhausted with this effort
Dropping down tired to death

Tell me now
Who are you?
The dear destiny of my journey
The precious solution to my questions
Tell me now
Who are you?

There I lie still
Too feeble to cry
Too scared to hope
Unable to find my destiny
Unanswered questions searching for clarity

Hear me now
The supposed to be destiny of my journey
The supposed to be solution of my questions
Whoever you are
Wherever you are
Hear me now
I dont care about you

There I go
Getting up from the fall
Going beyond the wall
Holding my head high
Moving forward without a sigh

There I stop
What is that I hear now?
Who is that poor soul calling out his destiny?
Who is that poor soul seeking out his solution?
Am I the answer to his questions?

Is this the secret of this life?
One's question is the others' answers?
All the question busy chasing its answer
Failing to recognize its worth as someone's answer
Oh poor thing how much does it suffer!

Isnt it a lovely paradox?
I am the question searching for an answer and I am the only answer to your question
I am the sorrow searching for joy and I am the only joy to chase away your sorrow
I am the ignorance searching for wisdom and I am the only wisdom to chase away your ignorance
I am the poem searching for interpretation and I am the only prose to interpret you

I am the sufferer and I am the suffered for
I am the pain and I am the cure
I am the seeker and I am the seeked for
I am the journey and I am the destination
I am the dream and I am the reality
I get not what I offer not


There I go
Admiring this duality
Thanking the almighty
For this knowledge he imparted on me
For this sensible strength he gave to me

Hear me now
Whoever you are
Wherever you are
Here is the secret
Stop your desperate search for gyan and illusion
Start to serve the world with your brain and might
Here in you lies the answer for all your questions...

Dont tell me now
Who are you
Because I know my path leads me to you
Just as yours is leading you to me...
Dont tell me now
Who are you

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

There in the garden roams a crow with a pack of lovely peacocks
Happily cawing and flying around
Spreading joy wherever it goes
Exploding into peals of laughter and sharing loads of love
Many looking at it enviously
Very few really knowing what it got to be a crow amid peacocks...

I am one of those very few dear
I can perfectly understand what it is to be a crow amidst peacocks
Deep in your lonely heart feeling isolated and wailing in pain
Hoping for the winds of change to bring color to your life
Looking expectantly at every sign of joy
Craning your neck for any chance of hope
Oh how little do you know
How much you lose by suffering so
Oh how little do you know
You are not the only one suffering so

What makes you feel so low?
Tell me dear...
What makes you feel so low?
Its the insensible remarks of those proud peacocks you dont care?
Or its the insensitive sympathy of those peacocks you do care?
Its the attention of your foe?
Or its the indifference of your friend?
Who crushed your confidence and thrashed your self esteem?
Was it those friendly teasings or ill intentioned sweet words?
Who bogs you down dear?
Those lovely peacocks or your own loving crows?
Which hurts you the most dear?
The inferiority you feel amidst the peacocks
Or the jealousy and sympathy the other crows feel for you?

What ever may be dear
Get one thing clear
Nobody cares about your tear
Everybody have their own fear
Have this in your mind dear...
You were created by the same greatest painter who created the lovely peacock...
May be he was not much in mood for aesthetics when your turn came
May be his palette of beautiful colors got over when he was creating you
And he chose to paint you with the left over black color
Whom to blame dear rather than the creator's laziness?

But tell me this...
Think for a moment and tell me this...
Arent' you thankful that though he dint give you colorful wings he did gave wings to you?
Arent' you happy that he dropped you in a lovely family though at times they are the very few who can hurt you the most?
Look around! There is a tree for you to rest, there is a sun for you to guide
Most importantly there is a vulture circling above you to remind you the preciousness of your life
Arent you happy to be in the wonderful garden where you struggled to get into?
Arent you thankful for the beautiful moments with those peacocks beautiful both inside and outside?
What else do you need?

I pray for you little crow,
I pray for your joy,
I pray for the sense to prevail with you
Eventhough I know The only thing you wish at times is the eternal sleep
Beleive me its not so easy to embrace
So here I am little crow
Praying for you...
Praying for your joy and
Praying for the return of your trueself...

Friday, July 30, 2010

Is there any feeling better than being totally in charge of one's emotions and feelings?
Is there anything more disgusting than the success handed out of mercy and compassion?
Is there anything more sickening than conceited behaviour and artful manners?
Is there anything more cruel than attacking one's self esteem?
Is there anything more dangerous than collective loss of reasoning?
Is there anything more misleading than false hopes and empty words?
Is there anything more painful than seeing the capable doesnt using his potential?
Is there anything more insane than seeing people getting exploited happily?
Is there anything more outrageous than monetizing of other's good intentions?
Is there anything more frightening than losing one's confidence?
Is there anything more heartening than seeing the deserving win?
Is there anything more magical than the hearty wishes and blessings?
Is there anything more precious than positive criticism and genuine feedback?
Is there anything more beautiful than the face of one doing his task with concentration and dedication?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

What hurts me the most?
The fact that you are going away from me
Or the fear that you are going away in a wrong direction

What rips me apart?
This pain due to the terrible things you say to me now or
The pain you gonna feel when you realise what you are saying to me now

What frightens me the most?
Your threatening of not coming back to me or
that I cant respect you when you come back?

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Problem is not that we dont see eye to eye
Its only that we pretend to see eye to eye....
Undeserved pain cant be washed away by silent tears
It can only be drowned by the sweet sweat of hardwork
Hope for a better tomorrow and fear of losing a place in it are the only two reasons which drives the mankind
Blessed are the souls which are not lured by false hopes and get entangled in the destructive fear
The best one could wish for his dear ones is the sensibility to identify the impossibilities the false hope assures, accept and move on with the fear of consequences of living in false hope...