Note: Please dont read it when you are in a depressed mood as it doesnt end in a positive note and much thought dint went in it while penning it down...

Wanna know what is this
Wanna know what is this

Something worser than death
Something sharper than pain
Something stronger than guilt

Wanna know what is this
Wanna know what is this

Loneliness replacing solitude
Laughter replacing joy
Madness replacing composure
Helplessness replacing confidence
Tiredness replacing liveliness
Indifference replacing enthusiasm
Fear replacing the adrenaline rush
Deadly silence replacing peace

Wanna know what is this
Wanna know what is this

Hazy days
Teary eyes
Fiery words
Dreary thoughts
Sleepless nights
Timeless days
A zombie life
Yeah nothing but a zombie life

Where did all the rationality go?
Where did all the clarity go?
Where did all the sensibilty go?
Where did all the dreams go?
Where did all the zeal go?
Where did all the hope go?

Fighting the unknown for an unknown
Searching the unknown for an unknown
Chasen by dark shadows
Chosen by cruelty
Hitted by hard truths
Pushed into nothing
Surrounded by volumes of emptiness
Tormented by the ruthless memories
A shapeless hand beckoning to a ceaseless torture
Running madly away from all
No guts to look back
No power to comprehend
No sense to accept
No shoulder to rely
Running madly away from all
Just running away from all...

Every complexity is just like a complex number
Constituted by both real and imaginary part
All we need to remember is
It is 'I' who makes the things complex
It is 'I' which needs to be work upon
Just remove the 'I'
There lies the real part!

Have you ever seen anyone playing dirtier tricks than this life?
Has it ever happened to you before?
Have you ever given a thought about it?
Just when you get a clarity and strength to move on after spending countless sleepless nights and painful introspections
It playfully smiles and starts the whole game again in its own way
But dear life hear it from me
I am not gonna let you fool me
Dear life I know the secret
I know how to put you in your place
Sensibilty is the only guard
Present is the only truth
Action is the only cure
Focus is all we need to escape from the mirages of this life
So dear take it from me
I am not gonna let you fool me
I am not gonna let you fool me

True friend is not the one who makes you forget your pain
He is the one who helps you to go through the pain elegantly
True friend is not the one who assures you there is no problem
He is the one who reminds you there is a problem when you try to ignore it
True friend is not the one who stays by you all the time
He is the one who will be by your side at bad times
True friend is not the one who tells you comforting words
He is the one who dares to tell you the uncomfortable truths
True friend is not the one who assures you of a bright future
He is the one who reminds you of dark future when you are in wrong path
True friend is not the first one to congratulate you on your success
He is the last one to sleep peacefully until you succeed
True friend is not the one who share your dreams
He is the one who wake you up to reality
True friend is not the one who makes you laugh
He is the one who is courageous enough to sit by you when you cry
Forget the one who tells you to forget your problem
Treasure the one who tells "Look you have a problem tell me what it is"
Dont you understand that true friend is not a pain killer giving temporary relief
But a bitter drug saving ones' life?

There is never such a thing as misunderstanding between people
We either understand too well or never attempt to understand at all

There I go
Walking in the rain
Holding the cane
Seeking in vain
A cure for all pain

Tell me now
Who are you?
The dear destiny of my journey
The precious solution to my question
Tell me now
Who are you?

There I go
Thinking of you
Dreaming about you
Every step towards you
Ever wondering about you

Tell me now
Who are you?
The dear destiny of my journey
The precious solution to my question
Tell me now
Who are you?

There I go
Frustrated with this search
Running through the rugged path
Tearing my hair apart
Exhausted with this effort
Dropping down tired to death

Tell me now
Who are you?
The dear destiny of my journey
The precious solution to my questions
Tell me now
Who are you?

There I lie still
Too feeble to cry
Too scared to hope
Unable to find my destiny
Unanswered questions searching for clarity

Hear me now
The supposed to be destiny of my journey
The supposed to be solution of my questions
Whoever you are
Wherever you are
Hear me now
I dont care about you

There I go
Getting up from the fall
Going beyond the wall
Holding my head high
Moving forward without a sigh

There I stop
What is that I hear now?
Who is that poor soul calling out his destiny?
Who is that poor soul seeking out his solution?
Am I the answer to his questions?

Is this the secret of this life?
One's question is the others' answers?
All the question busy chasing its answer
Failing to recognize its worth as someone's answer
Oh poor thing how much does it suffer!

Isnt it a lovely paradox?
I am the question searching for an answer and I am the only answer to your question
I am the sorrow searching for joy and I am the only joy to chase away your sorrow
I am the ignorance searching for wisdom and I am the only wisdom to chase away your ignorance
I am the poem searching for interpretation and I am the only prose to interpret you

I am the sufferer and I am the suffered for
I am the pain and I am the cure
I am the seeker and I am the seeked for
I am the journey and I am the destination
I am the dream and I am the reality
I get not what I offer not

So

There I go
Admiring this duality
Thanking the almighty
For this knowledge he imparted on me
For this sensible strength he gave to me

Hear me now
Whoever you are
Wherever you are
Here is the secret
Stop your desperate search for gyan and illusion
Start to serve the world with your brain and might
Here in you lies the answer for all your questions...

Dont tell me now
Who are you
Because I know my path leads me to you
Just as yours is leading you to me...
Dont tell me now
Who are you

There in the garden roams a crow with a pack of lovely peacocks
Happily cawing and flying around
Spreading joy wherever it goes
Exploding into peals of laughter and sharing loads of love
Many looking at it enviously
Very few really knowing what it got to be a crow amid peacocks...

I am one of those very few dear
I can perfectly understand what it is to be a crow amidst peacocks
Deep in your lonely heart feeling isolated and wailing in pain
Hoping for the winds of change to bring color to your life
Looking expectantly at every sign of joy
Craning your neck for any chance of hope
Oh how little do you know
How much you lose by suffering so
Oh how little do you know
You are not the only one suffering so

What makes you feel so low?
Tell me dear...
What makes you feel so low?
Its the insensible remarks of those proud peacocks you dont care?
Or its the insensitive sympathy of those peacocks you do care?
Its the attention of your foe?
Or its the indifference of your friend?
Who crushed your confidence and thrashed your self esteem?
Was it those friendly teasings or ill intentioned sweet words?
Who bogs you down dear?
Those lovely peacocks or your own loving crows?
Which hurts you the most dear?
The inferiority you feel amidst the peacocks
Or the jealousy and sympathy the other crows feel for you?

What ever may be dear
Get one thing clear
Nobody cares about your tear
Everybody have their own fear
Have this in your mind dear...
You were created by the same greatest painter who created the lovely peacock...
May be he was not much in mood for aesthetics when your turn came
May be his palette of beautiful colors got over when he was creating you
And he chose to paint you with the left over black color
Whom to blame dear rather than the creator's laziness?


But tell me this...
Think for a moment and tell me this...
Arent' you thankful that though he dint give you colorful wings he did gave wings to you?
Arent' you happy that he dropped you in a lovely family though at times they are the very few who can hurt you the most?
Look around! There is a tree for you to rest, there is a sun for you to guide
Most importantly there is a vulture circling above you to remind you the preciousness of your life
Arent you happy to be in the wonderful garden where you struggled to get into?
Arent you thankful for the beautiful moments with those peacocks beautiful both inside and outside?
What else do you need?

I pray for you little crow,
I pray for your joy,
I pray for the sense to prevail with you
Eventhough I know The only thing you wish at times is the eternal sleep
Beleive me its not so easy to embrace
So here I am little crow
Praying for you...
Praying for your joy and
Praying for the return of your trueself...