Another attempt in abstract story writing....

 

Saw your text. Took a week off from work on false pretext. Tried to be as joyful as possible. Roamed under hot sun, dusted odd corners of home for hundredth time, read through the most tiresome books just to doze off to sleep without burdening myself from any thoughts. Listed hundred of things to be happy for. Tried to list the dreams and aims I had held dear to my heart but strangely couldnt list even one anymore. Listed hundred of reasons to not waste my tears.Was in the company of people whose primary aim in life is to pamper me. Went through every possible memoirs of happy days and lovely memories. Indulged myself in exquisite shows of luxury,  mind boggling intellectual discussions, every possible notions of rationalism and tangible hardships in life. Finally threw my pride enough to accept what I feel and surrender the anguish and pain to the holy power. Gathered little strength to show my weakness and shed few tears hoping for a better tomorrow.But still my heart and mouth whispers a silent prayer to never get up again while going to bed at night. Still my heart hopes that bus running in road will be kind enough to rush towards me and crush me.

If I were honest this would have been my reply when you text me "How are you doing? Wassup?".after a week.  But instead I choose to reply "Fine :)" Hmmm...Had you called or met me my honest reply would have been a great smile and a cheerful  fine. Because all I need is to see that twinkle in your eyes or atleast to hear that happy excitement in your voice  confirming your joy and pride. That is all I need to replace the pain and emptiness with joy and bliss. Your voice with excitement and eyes with that twinkle. And that is why I insist you on inviting me for your marriage in person or in phone.

A wish to leave
A wish to fly
A wish to reach


A wish to confess
A wish to cry
A wish to smile

A wish to ease
A wish to sleep

A wish to leave....

Tears

Missing the loved one is such a strenuous job that even eyes sweat

Far across any measurable distance
Beyond the mountains and sky
Beyond the realms of space and time
There lies a peaceful world
Ruled by love and joy
Inhabited by pure souls free of form and color
That is from where we are pushed to this earth
We are here as the highest punishment for our own deeds
Cursed are we to spend our time with hope and smile here
When there is a world free from agony and meloncholy up above there
Cheated with beautiful nature and loving people around us
Cajoled with successes and sweet moments
But only our lonely moments and our heart reminding us the bitter truth
We are living 'coz we are not worthy to be dead...

It has been one long month
Could not help but stare at the calendar thinking of
The day when our friendship breath its last
The day when I realised how fatal truth could be
The day when I lost something forever inspite of the words on the other side promised otherwise
There have been no declaration or any confirmation
But I know it was the end
Goodbye my dear friend
As I know we are nothing more than an acquaintance now
Ripped off the privilege to say these to you
So here I say
Thanks for introducing me to a part of my own self which I have never known before
Thanks for making me appreciate and understand what I have been thinking of as one's fantasies and weakness
Thanks for infinite things I am neither adept in putting in words nor anyone can understand
Sorry for my folly if there was any
Sorry for being seen as silly by you but wouldnt take back any
As the words I spoke are the glimpse of what I feel
Happy that you are there where you want to be
Glad that you are there with your type of folks
Though sad that I am nowhere near there
Its not that bad on seeing a glimpse of the worst that could have befallen
As long as you are safe and sound with success and joy all around
I couldnt think of any other comfort to be found
You will always be in my prayers for your joys to be unbound
RIP the friendship I cherish..........

The most dangerous thing one can do in his life is trying to always be on safer side...

When you can see the fear behind one's anger
When you can see the frustration behind one's rudeness
When you can see the insecurity behind one's jealousy
When you can see the self doubt behind one's arrogance
When you can see the disappointments behind one's selfishness
Cant you see world is not that bad indeed?
Cant you see strength and hope is what we need to smile and pull through?